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“Mentally, there’s healing that comes from finding this space where your problems melt away and you’re forced to focus on the pleasures and pains your body is experiencing,” says Daniel Saynt, a sex educator and co-founder of NSFW, a BDSM-focused member’s club. The state of mind can provide such profound release that they feel they’re temporarily leaving all of their troubles behind. Why subs love being in subspaceįor many submissives, subspace is the ultimate goal in a BDSM scene. A caring Dom will provide whatever aftercare is needed, during the several hours after a scene. That can cause a subspace to turn into a somewhat-shocking “subdrop,” in which the submissive is not only exhausted but also hot, cold, hungry or even disoriented for a brief time. The parasympathetic nervous system is also activated, creating relaxed and calm feelings in the brain and throughout the body. Increased cortisol levels induce the release of more hormones like endorphins and enkephalins, which are natural chemicals that can boost pain tolerance while increasing the pleasurable, floaty feelings of euphoria.
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That signals the brain to activate a fight-or-flight response, causing the body to release stress hormones like epinephrine and cortisol.Ī chain reaction follows. Intense sex play, even if it’s consensual, may be interpreted by the sympathetic nervous system (which detects pain) as a threat. What causes someone to get into subspace? It’s simply an experience – quite enjoyable and satisfying for many submissives – that often results from kinky D/s play.
SUBSPACE DEFINITION PROFESSIONAL
Lola Jean, a sex educator and professional dominatrix, points out that not every BDSM session results in subspace, and it isn’t necessary that a sub enters subspace for a BDSM scene to be considered successful. “It is a space of high suggestibility and heightened sensory arousal, which is usually sparked by the adrenaline and endorphins that are released when engaging in BDSM activities.” In intense scenes where pre-negotiated pain is being inflicted on a submissive, subspace is often a release from that pain that leaves the sub euphoric.
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“Subspace could be defined as the warm, fuzzy, nearly-hypnotic physical and psychological feeling that people experience sometimes when they are in the submissive role,” explains Pam Shaffer, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. When pre-negotiated pain is being inflicted on a submissive, subspace is often a release from the pain which leaves the sub euphoric. For many who enjoy the role of sub, it’s the primary reason they engage in intense play. They say it makes them feel like they’re “floating on a cloud” or “in a state of total peace” – somewhat comparable to reaching orgasm during penetrative or vaginal stimulation. Many have described subspace as a trance-like state that’s an out-of-body experience. It’s sometimes called a “headspace” as well. Through some combination of sensory deprivation (blindfolds, ball gags, restraints), and pain play (whips, paddles, floggers), the mind may transport a submissive to a different mental plane. Subspace is a state of transcendence that many subs enter during BDSM play. Let’s dig more deeply into the whole concept of subspace. ” Stick with me, because I promise it’s super-interesting.Įven more importantly, understanding the concept can help everyone appreciate the importance of sexual boundaries – whether they’re full-blown kinksters, they simply indulge in a little light spanking or fetish play every now and then, or they’re only into vanilla sex. You might be thinking “What the hell is “subspace”? Great, another esoteric term to learn.
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On a personal level, it’s a peaceful tranquility that someone like me, who has a near-crippling Type-A personality, rarely gets to experience. Ever since I started engaging in and researching kink, the altered state of mind associated with the subspace has fascinated me. He had to use their safeword in order to enforce their boundaries and stop the play before it went too far.Īs a sex researcher, I’ve rarely seen a deep dive into what subspace actually is, how a person gets there, and how healthy (or unhealthy) it is for a person’s mental well-being. When she had entered a subspace, though, she was so lost in her transcendental state that she wanted to have sex. For instance, I know a Dom and his submissive who had agreed that there would be no penetrative sex during their BDSM play. That’s definitely true.īut what’s also true is that a sub often enters a heightened erotic state called the “subspace” – which can easily blur all of the lines. Those in the BDSM community often say they understand consent more than most people, because they regularly discuss it.
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